I want more from my technology. In a strange way. I know. I, I, I. Me, me, me.
I want it to do what I want it to do without spying on my every movement, or word, or reporting my latest sidestep in craziness to whoever’s out there taking notes.
My coffee pot should make noises I CHOOSE to let me know it’s done brewing. Like the first few notes of Day-O, or Good Morning Starshine, rather than an annoying beep-beep-beep-beep-beep. And should politely say “mañana” when turning itself off.
Siri or whatever map direction voice telling you how to get from here to there? I want to hear “Oh, girl, you do not want to go that way” -or- “You better slow your ass down, ’cause you gotta turn in about 500 feet” in Wanda Sykes voice. The voices you hear should be a dialect and cadence like that of riding the back roads with your best friend.
Am I right?
SHUFFLE OF VOICES
Speaking in Tongues – Arcade Fire
Other Voices/Other Rooms – Nancy Griffith/Emmy Lou Harris
Banana Boat Song (Day-O) – Harry Belafonte