Category Archives: Music (re: the Food of Love)

Right Place, Right Time

My dear old friend, Jerry Swift, former owner of The Ritz music hall in Memphis and with whom I shared musical memories, misadventures, and shenanigans in the mid-to-late 70’s, challenged me to post a slice-of-life story. Jerry, you were one of the early stars and co-horts to my colorful life:

Late 1977, after coming off the road with Captain Beefheart in support of Shiny Beast, I met up with Harry, Don’s manager, for a thank-goodness-the-tour-is-over weekend in New Orleans. My second visit to this sexy, provocative, mysterious city. Staying with friends of Harry’s, we piled in the car to go hear music finally pulling up to a block already lined with people. We bypassed the line, Harry back-slapping all the doormen & bouncers on the way past. Sliding into Tipitina’s, a vibrant energy thrummed, expectation I’d rarely experienced in a small venue (exceptions Alex Cooley’s, The Ritz, Cafe Wha, Agora Ballroom, Bottom Line).

Harry, being Harry, had scored us a table up front. Shots of Jack tossed back. Lights dimmed. Music started. Wild Tchoupitoulas danced their way on to the stage, feathers flying, feet stompin’ full of rhythm-from-a-dozen-cultures. I was clear blown out of my chair and on my feet moving parts of my body I didn’t know even moved, barely noticing as the stage filled with Neville after Neville and a few guests – including Harry with his harp. I turned, surprised – but not really – to see his empty chair.

Harry was a man of a million stories, each better than the last. Former manager of The Meters, learned harp from Charlie Musselwhite and Sunnyland Slim, and I could go on and on. But Harry’s a story for another day. As is Van Vliet – I still have the rapidograph set he bought me in some art store somewhere between Atlanta and Birmingham.

On the way home way past 2am, Harry asks “will you be really disappointed if we don’t bum around the city today? Aaron asked if I’d come lay some harp tracks down on their album.” Disappointed? Not. Driving across the Pontchartrain late morning full of excitement and possibilities, sun glittering on the water ’til we finally drove into Studio in the Country in Bogalusa. It would be a day and night that imprinted deeply. The musical process with all players in the same room. No overdubs that day. Jack Nitzsche, manic beyond description, behind the board. Channeling mentor Phil Spector. Jack, brilliant, yet frequent-crazy-town-resident, orchestrator of Ike & Tina’s “River Deep, Mountain High.” That day there were moments I wept with emotion. Laughed so hard I snorted. Felt my heart beat faster at magic as it happened. I couldn’t stop staring at Aaron’s birthmark. I tried, I really did.

A revered right-place, right-time memory. Magically up-close, immersive, and personal. “Life’s been good to me so far.”

If you know Harry Duncan, give him a hug from me!

SHUFFLING ACROSS THE PONTCHARTRAIN
Washable Ink – The Neville Brothers
In The Heart of the Night – Poco
Congo Square – The Neville Brothers
Arianne – The Neville Brothers

Zig Zag Wanderer

November 1978. Was sent out to work a handful of shows with Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band.

Driving between Atlanta & New Orleans on the tour bus, Don and I discovered our deep love and fascination with art supply stores. He’d often make the bus driver get off the interstate to track down a store. No simple feat in those days prior to Google and the internet. You had to find a phone book.

Once located and inside, it was an endless treasure hunt. We’d be on opposite sides of the store and would excitedly raise our arms high, prize discovery in hand.

At one of those nameless, long-forgotten stores, he bought me a set of Rapidograh pens and two bottles of ink – one black, one white – along with a stack of rough paper in a variety of colors. Back on the bus, he skilled me in filling the pens and making that first mark on the expensive paper.

I still have the pens and a few of the sheets of paper.

While moving house recently, I went through my old portfolio and set aside artwork, photos, and other memorabilia for framing. This one has long begged for a frame. I only wish I still had even one of the few sketches the “Captain” gave me that he drew while on that bus ride through the South.

SHUFFLING ACROSS THE SOUTH
Zig Zag Wanderer – Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band
Debra Kadabra – Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band

At a Loss For Words + Shufflin’

Fall Into Winter 2016

drawing of hand with a feather pen
Almost a year of silence. I wrote. Just not to you. Short words. Because those were the only ones I could find. The big ones mangled on the way from my brain to my mouth. Way too often I’d feel the “f word” form on my lips, swallow it back before it spewed it’s way out. It’s a lazy way of expression, though sometimes the only perfect word. I miss you. Make no mistake.  My long voice is longing. By the way, YOU equals the collective you out there.

I was sure I at least wrote poems. Yet couldn’t find one fully formed. Not one. I must have written them in my head with that invisible pencil I carry around. Now they’ll never to see paper.  I remember snippets.  Half things I dictated to my phone at stop lights, or where ever they hit. So there you go. Gone.

an ocean
of tiny rip tides
low and high
drown my face ….
tears.

and then there was:

A song
of slippery words
keepsakes of something
hot and sticky and amorous …

blah, blah, blah. Though I had to laugh at the last one. At least part of my brain was aroused. That it was something other than deadened.

The more you try to still your mind,
the farther flung it sweeps
capturing even the whisper of suggestion.

And this happened.  Sweeping down Erwin Road at a respectable clip:

I kilt that snake
essing in a hurry
across the blacktop
smack off center line
he looked right at me
with a slithery smile of gotcha
and for a second looked like you.
Too late to stop,
braked and backed
a time or two
just to make sure …
he needed killin’ …
and I needed
to smile
at something.

Gotta think for a while on what that was all about. I thought I was over that guy, but he rared up from time to time. Unexpected and always unwelcome.

Losing a parent is, well, nothing short of devastating. Losing both in the space of a year and a half is double that. Like walking in a giant jello pool of every flavor. Just getting to the other side is exhausting and feels impossible.

Somewhere peeking out of the loss comes clarity. Fuzzy at first, but something to hang on to in the rush of unexpected feeling.

………………………………………………………………………
ViolinNotesShufflin’ & Steamin’
In the Garden – The Avett Brothers
Turtle Dove and the Crow – Mandolin Orange
Carolina – The Honeycutters
Stardust – Rod Stewart

 

 

Hitting the Right Notes

BlueNoteGrill-Logo-2color

 

 

 

 

 

So excited to have been asked to write an “ode to the Blue Note Grill” for Durham Magazine. Easiest assignment EVER!

Enjoy, y’all!

Packin’ Light – Josh Preslar Band

Josh Preslar newI’m confessing right up front that Josh and the band are personal friends and that I worried a little when Josh asked me to write a review. Live, they are as much fun and as tight as any national touring band out there. What if that didn’t translate to a record? What if I didn’t like the album? What would I have to say? Needless worry.

If Josh Preslar can pack the house and have everyone near ‘bout hanging from the rafters song after song, it stands to reason that he can pack an album. He’s done just that with his new CD, and don’t let the title fool you.

Packin’ Light is an eleven-song collection stacked end-to-end with original tunes tastefully played by his “house band,” who just happen to be a handful of Triangle favorites – T.A. James (bass and guitar), Chuck Cotton (drums), Clark Stern (keyboards), and Mike “Howlin’ Wind” Davis (harmonica/vocals). With special guests Tad Walters (harmonica), David Richards (trumpet, Tim Smith (tenor sax), Neal Chapman (guitar) and Chris Bennett (guitar) sitting in, he really did turn the studio into a juke joint. And those of us who are regular fans know exactly what that means.

Preslar, a generous front man with a guitar style and voice as smooth and caressive as a fine bourbon (not to mention an enviable hat collection) lets each of his players shine throughout, often stepping back and sharing guitar space with James, Chapman, and Bennett.  Part of Preslar’s talent, aside from his vocal and guitar playing, is his ability to manage a room full of multi-instrumentalists and still make everything come out sounding spare and full all at the same time. It’s pure musical joy to hear the results when he seamlessly and expertly moves each into the spotlight.

JoshPreslarBandSoDu

Favorite cuts? “Housekeepin’.”  It’s basic relationship truth that gets in a groove you don’t want to leave. Leave that useless stuff behind. As long as it is, at nearly 6 and a half minutes, you don’t really want it end.  “Josh’s Boogie” feels good from the first note to the last. On second thought, don’t make me pick. The CD has been playing in my car and house for 4 solid weeks and, with each listen, my appreciation for the collection grows.

A self-proclaimed road warrior, Preslar’s been playing blues all his life and loves being out with a band. Packin’ Light is a reverent testament to the “grab what you need and it better fit in a matchbox or it’s getting left behind” simplicity of early blues along with the necessity of being able to hit the road traveling light whenever the notion strikes.

The songs on Packin’ Light tell a story. Whether it’s a town or a woman who talks too much or a dusty broom, life is often about what you leave behind in search of what’s in front of you.  Musically, it’s also a serious nod to the often miss-attributed Miles Davis quote “it’s not the notes you play, it’s the notes you don’t play.”

The Josh Preslar Band knows exactly which ones those are and the wisdom to know just which to leave behind.
…………………………………………

Catch Josh Preslar Band at one of these upcoming CD release shows
Sat., June 6, 2015 – Walker’s Bar, Greensboro, NC
Sat., June 13, 2015 – Rock Harbor Grill, Apex NC
Fri., June 26, 2015 – Blue Note Grill, Durham, NC

Take a listen on ReverbNation!

The Past Becomes a Present + Kitchen Shuffle

by Deborah Miller

I hit my early 30’s with a couple of significant, but soon to be important, strangers in my how-fast-can-I-run life. One was my second husband, who I hadn’t quite met yet, the second was my kitchen where I mostly kept beer or wine cold, the aluminum-drip-pot coffee hot, and take-out stashed as I hurried on the way to somewhere else. Please don’t judge my taste buds. They had no respectable influences back then … Mateus Rosé was my wine of choice because the man I shoulda married always came over with a bottle. You judged the night before by how many empty little Krystal Burger boxes were on the table when you woke up the next day. More than 5 … uh-oh.

Krystalboxes2

But I didn’t hate cooking. In fact, there was something calm and almost Zen-like there that was non-existent in my day-to-day, but I never stopped long enough to appreciate it. My candle stayed lit at both ends in those days. Plus at the time, my kitchen was a converted closet containing a baby 2- gas burner stovetop /oven and the sink was around the corner in my bedroom. Not terribly conducive to culinary expression … not that I’m making excuses because I was, after all, brought up by the “it’s a poor craftsman/woman who blames his/her tools” proverb.

When we (and by we, I mean me, my best friend and our running buddies, who were all either art students, musicians and/ or roadies) would end up in one place long enough, I’d often bake bread and cook a big pot of something. Soup. Stew. Spaghetti … because have you ever seen a boy (or a man) turn down a plate of spaghetti? Hasn’t happened in my life yet and I’m still waiting.

BreadPastaWine

Rarely did I write recipes down, because I was fearless and not afraid to add ingredients with abandon (whether they went together or not). Add enough wine to the pot and the guest(s), and who cares?

My recipes back then, if you can even call them that, were haphazard concoctions based on 1) how my mother made it, 2) how my grandmother made it, and 3) what I could afford. I’ve already proven in earlier blog posts that my siblings and I have varying colorful and wildly different memories of the exact same thing.

There was one family recipe I started doctoring just as soon as I was far enough away from home not to get caught. Bless her heart, my mother’s spaghetti sauce was just plain weird and not like anything I’d ever had before or since. She used to say that’s the way my Dad’s mother made it, that it was German-inspired. German spaghetti sauce? Really? They were from Yadkinville via the Alsace region, but that could hardly account for this particular and peculiar combination of ingredients. And there was nothing North Carolina about this sauce except for the woman opening the bottles. She’d saute onions and celery, maybe some dried garlic, brown some ground beef, then add a couple of bottles of Heinz Chili Sauce. I loved it until I tried “real red sauce” at a real Italian restaurant.

In an attempt to impress when I finally met the man I would marry, born story-embellisher that I am, my kitchen skills took on grand proportions as if I didn’t know, or care, that it would catch up with me sooner or later. We ate out a lot at first, and grilled almost every weekend, so coming up with sides for whatever hunk of meat was charring away outside was easy. There was foolhardiness as I threw elaborate dinner parties and tried out new dishes without even a rehearsal. One dinner, everything was held-up waiting for the rice to bake, a recipe my mother often made for fancy dinners. After 30 extra minutes and finally pulling the bubbling beef broth out of the oven, it was only to discover I’d never added the rice. Fortunately, there was wine a’plenty and if I know nothing else, it’s how to laugh long and hard at myself. For reasons that now escape me we ended up dancing around the dining room table singing Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of our lungs. It became an after dinner tradition.

cooking

Still, the kitchen didn’t scare me. Our circle of friends became fooled into thinking I knew what I was doing back there in that room with the pots and pans. I’ve lost count of the times I’d just go back in there and rattle things around a little just for their benefit.

Once married, and without even consciously trying, we began to start our own food traditions. One that included having all our favorites on one plate for a birthday, which in my case meant lobster, crab cakes and ribeye’s all in one meal. The holidays would roll around and I’d find myself homesick for a specific dish from my own childhood – breakfast strata, Christmas pie, baked fruit compote, or Mud Hens.

We honestly thought Mom created them until I pulled out my old dog-eared 2nd edition copy of Charleston Receipts to search for a dessert to take to a cookout and there big-as-life was her recipe. Exactly the same. They were such a hit, I promised myself I’d never forget about them again, though I’d smile coyly about our “secret family recipe” every time after.

WagonerFamilyCookbook1The Family Cookbook
Sometime during the summer of 1990, as I began to collect all those family recipes, including those that my brother and sisters had reworked and adapted to our adult tastes, it morphed into a family cookbook project. Everyone would send me their recipes, I’d re-type them all, make copies, and gather them in a ring binder. Sounded simple enough. I was either crazy or didn’t already have enough to do, so I also volunteered to design and cross stitch enough covers for each family to have their own book, plus an extra one each for the two 10-year old nieces who I named as my assistant editors. It became the big shared family Christmas gift that year and took its rightful place next to the old Joy of Cooking and Ladies Home Companion.

My copy is a treasure and is one of those things I’d grab if the house were on fire. It’s outgrown the binder in a good way, with other favorite recipes added through the years. Even after graduating from culinary school, I still go for the family cookbook nine times out of ten. Ever year, usually sometime in November and way too late to have it ready in time for Christmas, there are talks of doing a long overdue update. Bring it on, y’all. It’s about time.
…………………………………………………………………….

Kitchen Shuffle
Shuffle
RC Cola & a Moon Pie (NRBQ)
Maximum Consumption (the Kinks)
Alice’s Restaurant (Arlo)
Sweet Potato Pie (James Taylor)
Cheeseburger in Paradise (Jimmy Buffett)

R.E.M. BY MTV at Cat’s Cradle a special film screening and PopUp Chorus benefiting the Public Justice Foundation

There’s this.  It’s important. It’s fun. And it’s a damn good cause.

August 23, 2016 update:  Our beautiful and remarkable Vivian left us yesterday – peacefully, quietly in the comfort of family and friends.  We knew this day would come. Lauren Bromley Hodge said it way better than I ever could:

Yesterday, Vivian Connell joined the man in the moon, went to Heaven, became part of the universal flow of all things, Honestly, I do not know where she has gone, but I do know that she has left a hole in our world, and that I have lost a friend. A mother supreme, a ferocious fighter for justice, an advocate for public education, a towering intellect and force of nature like no other, Vivian loved music right up there with all else that she loved with such passion. Just over a year ago, Bernard Downing, Conductor Seamus Kenney, David Klein, Deborah Pardee Miller, Frank Heath and her husband, Paul Connell, worked together with many others, on an event to honor her, that benefited Public Justice, a cause that she held so close to her heart. We sang R.E.M. songs, screened their documentary, and watched her son,Hagan Connell join this kick ass band with Alex Maiolo on stage. Of course, he held his own, because he is a Connell, and they always hold their own. Re-watching this video and seeing her sing, laugh and love R.E.M., her family, friends and her community reminds me that life is precious, fleeting and beautiful. She made more of it that most. RIP beautiful woman, and may the community that you served with such passion bring peace and comfort to your grieving family. So proud to have known you. -LBH

R.E.M. BY MTV at Cat’s Cradle
a special film screening and PopUp Chorus benefiting the Public Justice Foundation

REMbyMTV

Carrboro, NC – A special musical benefit featuring the music of R.E.M. takes place at Cat’s Cradle, Friday, April 10, 2015 beginning at 6:30 p.m. in support of the Public Justice Foundation. The evening includes a screening of the documentary R.E.M. by MTV, a film about the life and times of R.E.M., and a PopUp Chorus of the audience singing R.E.M. favorites, “Man in the Moon” and “Losing My Religion.” The event honors Chapel Hill teacher and policy advocate, Vivian Connell. Advance tickets for the seated show are $15 and are available online now at http://www.catscradle.com. All proceeds benefit the Public Justice Foundation.*

The event springs from years of shared friendships and shared passion for social justice. Vivian Connell, an undergraduate in Athens, Georgia in the early 80’s, grew up in the burgeoning local music scene with the young R.E.M. As an emerging band,, R.E.M. performed their first benefit in 1984 for the Legal Environmental Assistance Foundation (L.E.A.F.). The young Connell, then Vi Riner, photographed this 1984 performance for The Red & Black, the University of Georgia, Athens student newspaper.

Thirty years later, after a two-decade teaching career, Connell graduated from UNC Law, passed the North Carolina Bar and was engaged in education policy advocacy, often working with long-time R.E.M. advisor Bertis Downs. But in March 2014, soon after embarking on her career in public interest law, Connell was diagnosed with ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig’s disease).

Following her diagnosis and despite physical limitations, Connell, a teacher, attorney, and policy advocate, continued to pursue public service, raising over $30,000 to lead a group of immigrant and marginalized students on a social justice trip to DC. On the importance of music, Connell observed, “Music has the power to unite people and to compel us toward a higher purpose,” adding, “R.E.M.’s music and politics have elevated our best ideals and inspired many, including me, to question the status quo and to pursue an authentic life of substance.”

Says Bertis Downs, R.E.M. advisor and co-producer of the documentary, “we are thrilled to have a screening of R.E.M. by MTV at Cat’s Cradle and to have it benefit The Public Justice Foundation, which does such vital work and is meaningful to our friend Vivian Connell. It is sort of a perfect circle; the Chapel Hill area has always been a special place for R.E.M. since their earliest days, and screening the film here gives us an opportunity to support and honor Vivian. The documentary has been well received by fans all over– and having PopUp Chorus join the event is a unique bonus.”

Click here to view Trailer for R.E.M. by MTV.

PopUp Chorus founder Lauren Bromley Hodge, a NC based arts entrepreneur, met Connell through Downs in 2011 after founding the Community Chorus Project, whose mission is to create community and positive social impact through music. In 2014, Hodge introduced PopUp Chorus, conducted by Seamus Kenney, as a program of Community Chorus Project, run in collaboration with the Department of Music at UNC, Chapel Hill. Hodge and Kenney are thrilled that PopUp Chorus can help celebrate Vivian Connell’s work and passion, while allowing them to turn the audience into a PopUp Chorus singing two iconic R.E.M. songs.

Like R.E.M.’s first benefit, this event will support public interest law. A perfect circle, indeed.

* Public Justice fights for consumer and victims’ rights, environmental protection and safety, civil rights and civil liberties, workers’ rights, America’s civil justice system, and the wronged, the poor and the powerless. The Public Justice Foundation is a not-for-profit, 501(c)(3) charitable membership organization that supports cutting-edge litigation, advocacy, and education around these issues.

Those unable to attend may make a tax deduction donation by clicking here! 

Learn more about Vivian Connell –read her story on her blog, finALS: My Closing Arguments.

Advance tickets – BUY NOW!

# # #

Contacts:
Vivian Connell, Advisory Board, Public Schools First, North Carolina Certified Teacher, English 6-12, ESL K-12, 704-995-2222,vivcon@gmail.com
Lauren B. Hodge, Community Chorus Project LLC, 919-428-1597, lauren.b.hodge@gmail.com

For more information or to arrange an interview:
Deborah Miller, 919.219.6877, dpmiller@bellsouth.net

Memorial Day in The Hindsight Zone

In honor of Memorial Day … I’ll reverently spend some good memory time for all those who fought for us.

Then I’m moving on to other people from the past. The one’s you can’t un-remember. Can’t un-see. Can’t un-hear. Forever stuck like an earwig.  DATES that never shoulda even happened.

HindsighZone

“You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of heart and mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s the signpost up ahead – your next stop, the Hindsight Zone!” ~with deepest, red-faced apologies to Rod Serling.

I admit it. I could stand and give full-blown testimony in a 12-step group. I’m addicted to the intoxication of love/lust in a big way.  I LOVE love.  And lust just gives me the full-out shivers. Sometimes I have a hard time telling the difference. It regularly gets me into trouble, and it more often backfires. Or used to. I’m more careful now, but I still stick my finger directly into the fire from time to time … because I want to make absolutely certain.

Plus, I love men. That’s all. Most of the men I could even imagine spending the rest of my life with are already spending theirs with someone else … or they live in my past, probably for good reason. But I know this. Relationships in the rear view mirror are closer than they appear.

I hope he's not a drummer or bass player.


But I’m hopeful. And I still believe in love. And falling in love.

My friends who long ago gave up on love ask me why I still go out on dates. Whatever else happens, it’s almost always guaranteed to end up as a story. Every time I start telling a BFF (or two, or ten) about “that” date, they roll out laughing.  Even while laughing their asses off, they’re admiring my hopeful optimism as I go on “just one more date.”

Y’all aren’t fooling me, I can still see that smidge of pity peeking around that wall of admiration. And then they say “when are you going to start writing this stuff down?”  Isn’t it enough that these stories have to live forever in my head? Now I’ve got to share?

Names are not changed. You’re guilty and you know it.

Ken (McLean, VA ’95)
Match.com
Him:  I’m buying the first round.
Me thinking:  Who says I’m staying for more than one?
Him: Whatever else we order, it can’t have garlic. Why does everything have to have garlic in it?
Me thinking: Good grief. You remember I’m a culinary school grad, right?
Him: Oh, listen. They’re playing Kenny G. I love this guy.
Me thinking:  Ok, I’m outta here (as I plan the bathroom-to-door escape).

Larry (NYC  ’96)
Blind date fix-up
Him:  Spent the first 20 minutes telling me how beautiful I was.
Me thinking:  Hey Larry, I have a mirror and I didn’t just fall off a turnip truck. Your spurious attempts at going home with me grow slimmer by the mouthful. Him:   Spent the next 20 convinced (AND trying to convince me) that I was the same person he’d had anonymous phone sex with last summer. She was Southern. I was Southern. Her name was Dixie. I had a dog named Dixie. Ergo …

John (NYC  ’96)
NY Sports Club.
He would move one stationary bike closer to me each workout. Drinks after work, he asked? We met at a tapas place around Union Square, sat at the bar, had a nice time. Not great, just nice. As we got ready to leave, he slid his arm around me and leaned in close ….
Him:  Well, you’re not the kind of girl I usually date, but would you be interested in gratuitous sex?
Me:  speechless, ’cause what exactly do you say to that?
Gentleman that he was (his definition, not mine), he insisted on walking me to the subway (although I did it every other day on my own) and as we got to the top of the subway stairs, he dared, he really did … dared to ask again.
Him: Well? What about it?
Me:  What about what? (Toying with him was more fun that I anticipated.)
Him:  What about taking me home with you?
I’d had just enough time by now to work myself into a proper little snit of indignation.
Me: Yeah, well, how big is your dick?
Him: About normal, I guess. (He actually had the decency to look surprised at my question.)
Me: Well, then I think gratuitous sex is out of the question.

BAM!   Moral:  Every once in a lifetime, you do get the chance to say that one thing that normally you’d only think of hours later.

John L. (NYC ’97)
Him:   Of all the places in NYC, I can’t believe you chose Dallas BBQ as a place to meet.
Me:   Well, you told me to pick the place.
Him:   Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d try to kill me with an onion ring loaf.
Me:  We didn’t order an onion ring loaf.
Him:  Oh, that must be the last girl I met in here.
Me:   So you’ve been here before?
Him:  Oh, yeah, everybody loves this place except me. Are we ordering the onion ring loaf?

Chip (NC ’97)
Background:  3rd date.  We’ve been having fun. Out in public. In a small town where you can’t hide. By the 3rd date, at Top of the Hill, it’s seems okay to start asking the obvious, right?
Me:  So have you been married before?
Him:  Oh, I’m married.
Me:  Now?  As in, you’re married now?
Him:  Yeah. But we have an understanding.
Me:  What kind of understanding?
Him:  Well, we both can do what we want as long as we’re discreet.
Me:  Oh, cool. Well, let’s call her, just to be sure.
Him:  Wow, you’re really aggressive.

TrueRomance

Who knew you had to ask marital status when someone asks you out?

It’s standard routine now.

Male. Check.
Age 55-70. Check.
Single. Check.
Really single?  Double check.

Stephen (NC ’98)
Match.com
Me:  um, Stephen, how old are you again?
Him:  Well, if you knew I was only 18 you wouldn’t have met me, right?
Me:  oh, Lord.

Bill (NC ’09)
Reconnection from the ’70’s
Me:  So what’s next for you in life?
Him:  I’ve got it all figured out. We’re going to drive around the country in a motor home with one of those bouncy houses. Just set up at county fairs and stuff. Charge all the kids a dollar. Do you know how much money we could make? Live in the camper.
Me:  Who’s we?
Him:  Well …. you and me.
Me:   Uh-oh.

Tom (Wake Forest, NC ’16)
OKCupid
Predate
Him: If you don’t look like your picture, you’re buying me drinks til you do.
Me: Same right back atcha, buddy. –>Truth. his photos are at least 15 years old.
Him: We’ll go to your favorite restaurant as long as it’s French.
I chose Kitchen in Chapel Hill run by the amazing Dick and Sue Barrows, because it IS my favorite restaurant.
Him to the waiter: What’s good here?
Me thinking: Oh, no, he’s kidding, right?
Him: I’ll have the raw oysters. Don’t overcook them.
Me thinking: Blank. Blink. Blink. Not funny.

Him: I love duck. I’ll have it rare.
Waiter: It’s Duck Confit, so it doesn’t come rare.
Him: Talk to the chef. I’m sure he’ll understand.
Me thinking: How far away is my car?
Small talk
Small talk
Small talk
Me: So I know you’ve been married once. What’s your love history like?
Him: My second marriage was only a couple of months. She was from Bulgaria.
Me: Oh, wow, what was Bulgaria like?
Him: I never went there. I met her online and then she moved in with me.
Me: Ah, well then.
Him: Yeah, but can you do this? (hanging his spoon from his nose.)
Restaurant owner: Looks at me and shakes her head.

MusicHeart

Now just in case you think I only meet losers … NOT true. I’ve met some great men, some were lovely and lively romantic connections who turned into really solid friendships. But here, where I sit today … coming off of a two year relationship where I’m still tender in places I didn’t know I had, I’ve only gone on one fix-up. Maybe my musings can spare you the humiliation. Maybe not. At the very least it can start a conversation, or abruptly end one. And make for some good stories to tell.
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Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad (Derek & the Dominos)
Still Got the Blues (Gary Moore)
What’s Love Got To Do With It? (Tina Turner)
Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Queen)
That’s Amore (Dean Martin)
Feels like Home (Bonnie Raitt & Randy Newman)

Chapel Hill Boogie/SODU Blues & Heritage Festival

SoDu (South Durham) Blues & Heritage Festival:
Benefit for John Dee Holman
Sat., May 3, 1-6pm – $10 person/$15 Family of 4
Ages 12 and under free
Greenwood Commons
5410 Hwy 55
Durham, NC

JohnDeePapaMojos

 

One chilly Sunday afternoon back in February, I sat across from John Dee Holman in the Boom-Boom Room (translated: the back room) at the Blue Note Grill.  He was there to play a little with Tad Walters. I was there to get a story and hear a bit of him and Tad playing the blues. Joan, his long-time girlfriend, and I had already done our hugs and high-fives.  Not a bad way to spend a winter-just-won’t-go-away afternoon.

I teased Holman by admiring his blue-suede-shoe-blue corduroy trousers and asking if was ready to do some buck-dancing.  He hid a cackle behind his gnarled hand at the very idea of a man his age dancing.  “Might need a drink for that,” he said with a hint of mischief, adding “Get Joan to tell you how she ‘usta run a liquor house.”  Drink or not, the man can tell some stories.

Hillsborough-born, now living in Durham, Holman, long considered a Piedmont blues legend has toured both nationally and internationally. His first, and perhaps best album, Bull City After Dark, produced by the National Council for the Traditional Arts was nominated for a WC Handy award. The record is sadly out of print and no longer available, but new local efforts are underway to try to locate the original masters. Holman was the recipient of a 1994 North Carolina Folk Heritage Award.

Talent. Awards. Recognition. You’d think that would have left Holman set for life.  But circumstance and hard times, that what makes the blues, have left him with major struggles that include losing his house. Even he says “ain’t got no head for bidness,” which is why he’s trusted others, many times misplaced. The Triangle Blues Society in conjunction with Papa Mojo’s Roadhouse, the Hayti Heritage Center, the Blue Note Grill, Music Explorium and the Questell Foundation decided to do something to help their blues brother.

“John Dee can drive a rhythm section into the dirt,” said blues-guitarist Charlley Ward. “We can’t let him down.”

Gary Messenger, President of the Triangle Blues Society agreed. “John Dee Holman represents the wellspring of the NC blues, particularly the Piedmont region which bears the name that graces John Dee’s music. It’s the responsibility of the Triangle Blues Society to take care of the music and when we can, those who make it.”

The inaugural festival, serving as a tribute fundraiser for the legendary Holman, is also an open membership drive for the Triangle Blues Society, (TBS), a volunteer-run, non-profit dedicated to honoring and keeping traditional and contemporary blues alive in the Triangle. Messenger elaborates, “by joining and supporting the TBS, we continue to play it forward and insure though our work and contributions that this indigenous for of music, the Blues, will be here long after we have moved on.”

Join or renew your TBS membership at the event, and you’ll save $5 on the ticket, plus receive gift cards to Papa Mojo’s Roadhouse, the Blue Note Grill, and a Triangle Blues Society T-Shirt.

SODU Poster

Lining up to play one of two stages are John Dee Holman, Tad Walters, Chuck Cotton, Tornado Blues Band, Charlley Ward Band, Joe Bell & the Stinging Blades, Josh Preslar, Eric “E-Train” Manning,  the Beauty Operators, Mel Melton, Jasme Kelly, Sacrificial Poets, Buddy Black, and Emma “Big Mama E” Davis. Last minute entertainment additions are possible.

Family friendly activities include food, music, dancing, arts and crafts, and more. Donations for the Food Bank of Central & Eastern NC are encouraged.

But back to that Sunday afternoon in the boom-boom room.  I asked Holman who he had played with that stood out above all the others.  His answer?  “Taj Majal, and that guy sitting right over yonder” pointing straight at Tad Walters.

It’s all about supporting and protecting our cultural assets, one of which is John Dee Holman, co-author of “Chapel Hill Boogie.”

John Dee Holman @ the Blue Note Grill

 

This will be our year + BI shuffle

ZombiesCatsCradleThe Zombies
Pat Sansone
Fri, April 18, 2014
8pm – $32.00 – $35.00

Cat’s Cradle
Carrboro, NC
http://www.catscradle.com

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As invasions go, this one didn’t seem either strategic or tactical, but being the mid-sixties, the British invasion left a permanent musical imprint. It was rebellious and cheeky, fueled by the skiffle craze that had already taken over the UK. It burst right through Bobby Vinton, Fabian, Skeeter Davis, and Bobby Darrin, taking a rightful, and righteous (IMHO) place next to The Beach Boys and Roy Orbison. Pop meet the next generation.

All of a sudden, our white bread ears were listening, dancing, and yes, screaming to The Beatles, Dave Clark Five, The Yardbirds, Peter & Gordon, Animals, Stones, and The Kinks. Factoid Alert: One May day in 1965, the USA’s Top 10 in the Hot 100’s was ruled by the British Commonwealth, with one exception, Gary Lewis & the Playboys.

And they kept on coming ashore. The Who. The Hollies. The Zombies. These mostly blues and guitar-based bands, bringing with them a healthy respect for their own R&B heroes, most of whom lived right here in the U.S. Long, floppy hair and mod clothes horrified our parents. These are the people they warned us about.

The Zombies “She’s Not There” took five months to hit #2 in 1964, followed a year later by “Tell Her No” which only got to #6. Odessey and Oracle (1968), released after the band broke up still enjoys critical acclaim and included “Time of the Season,” often sound-tracked as the definition of the 60’s.

To say I was looking forward to seeing The Zombies at Cat’s Cradle when they played there for the first time in 2012 would be as understated as a little black dress, matched only by my initial-excitement-followed-by-sheer-terror at scoring an interview with original member Rod Argent.

Half expecting their musical, road-weary age to show through the edges of their performance, their energy level and extraordinary talent circled around and surprised me. For weeks after, I chided everyone I know who didn’t go. I was now invested in The Zombies. Again.

In an unrelated email sometime this past January, Cradle owner Frank Heath added a quick PS saying “Zombies will be coming back to Cat’s Cradle in April, by the way.” Yes, I would be interested in talking with Rod again.

So, as not complete strangers this time, Rod Argent and I caught up a few days ago on all that’s happened since they were last here in 2012. And they haven’t just been laying about this last two years.

First big surprise for the band was the call that Eminem wanted to re-sample “Time of the Season” for his 2013 single “Rhyme or Reason,” an angry spew toward his absent father. Second, was the new Chanel perfume ad for Coco Mademoiselle airing on TV starring Kiera Knightly that’s set to “She’s Not There.”

And they’re barely off the boat from a five-day Moody Blues Cruise performing with Roger Daltry (The Who), Carl Palmer (ELP), Starship and Little River Band. Argent claims they were almost too busy aboard the ship to attend all the shows. They’ve been having a ball and doing what they love. And there’s a new album in the works.

“I can’t remember exactly what our set list was,” Argent responded when I asked how this show might be different than two years ago. “Obviously, some of the staples are there. We can’t not do them, you know?”

“Some things from Odessey and Oracle, “Time of the Season,” “She’s Not There,” “Tell Her No,” we have to do those. Also Argent’s song “Hold Your Head Up.” Plus a couple other early Zombies songs “She’s Coming Home” and “I Want You Back Again.” We love doing that one on stage now. Several songs from the Breathe Out album as well.”

I reminded him that when Frank brought me back to meet them that they had offered me a glass of wine, which I politely declined since I was my own designated driver, and in hindsight, I wished I’d taken them up on. I got a speeding ticket on the way home that night as I was blissfully singing “She’s Not There” at the top of my lungs. If I’d stopped, had the wine, that cop would probably have been long gone and I would have had wine with The Zombies.

His response: “Thing is, you should have had that drink then you could have apologized to him saying I don’t normally drive like this, but I’m a bit drunk.”

We both cracked up laughing and agreed not to let THAT happen again.

Special guest opener is Southern rocker and multi-instrumentalist, Pat Sansone, member of Wilco and The Autumn Defense.

Enjoy the interview!

DPM: Hi Rod, good to talk with you again. We’re looking forward to your return to Cat’s Cradle.

RA: You too, Deborah. We’re looking forward to playing there again.

DPM: I thought it might be fun to circle back and see what the last year and a half has been like. You were just beginning a tour in support of Breathe Out/Breath In.

RA: I’m not even sure where to start. The shows have been going great and a lot of cool things have been happening. We’re working on a new album. Eminem used “Time of the Season” in the background of his song “Rhyme or Reason” which is a sound-alike phonetically, but inserted totally the sentiment of the song and I thought that was great actually, to hear that, and throughout the song a lot of our original vocals were coming through and then he recorded a chorus himself with the new words and obviously rapping all over it.

That was very cool. Also there’s something that’s just come on, I don’t know if you’ve heard it or not yet, a big Chanel advert commercial on television with Kiera Knightly … very James Bondy … using “She’s Not There” which is very nice too. Lots of things going on and we’re having a ball playing as always.

DPM: One of my upcoming questions is what have been some of the biggest surprises this last year and a half supporting Breathe Out/Breathe In. Would Eminem resampling “Time of the Season” be a good answer to that question?

RA: Well, that was a pretty big surprise. I’ve got co-writing credits on his tracks, but I had to hear the version and okay it before it went out. He’s very secretive and protective of his tracks, and I can understand that. First of all, we were asked permission, and our publisher said “well, we’ve got to hear it first.” And he said “well, you can’t do that.” We said “How can we give permission if we haven’t heard it?” So he finally sent a link which only remained active for about a day or something where I could hear it. I can quite understand how he wanted to be protective of it. But I heard it and I loved it, absolutely no problem. I loved the fact that it was an inventive creative take on the original piece of material.

DPM: You said you are working on a new album. Can you and Colin actually find time and space to write while you are touring?

RA: Well, I can’t personally write while I’m on the road. I’ve tried and I can’t, but while we were back home, I’ve written a couple of things and there are couple of songs that are in the pipeline as well. So we started the recording of the new album. One track I like very much indeed that we’ve got down, actually both tracks we’ve got down I like very much, so that’s a start [laughing].

DPM: And you are recording in England?

RA: Yes, and that’s going to be hard this year because I’m moving house after 38 years and my studio’s in my house so I don’t know [laughing] how that’s going to work. When I get back I’ve got 38 years of furniture and everything else. It’s a big house, unfortunately, and it’s going to take a hell of a move, so that’s going to be taking up some of my time when I get home. It’s a question of actually finding the time to do the creative work and concentrate on that too.

DPM: What on earth prompted a move after all those years?

RA: Well, basically we wanted to move to a different area. It’s a very big house and it’s just my wife and myself in it now, and I guess we felt that if we were going to move then if we didn’t do it now, we’d never do it?

DPM: Downsize while you can still enjoy it?

RA: Well, it’s downsizing in terms of the property and the house. It’s like a sideways move really. We’re moving to an area we’d like to go to and it’s just a matter of doing that while it’s still possible [laughing]. The house we’ve got at the moment was built in 1815, it’s a very beautiful Georgian house, but strangely enough we wanted a bit more land now even though I want the building to be a bit smaller.

DPM:  2014 started off pretty great for you guys headlining on the Ultimate R&B tour in the UK with The Yardbirds, The Animals and Spencer Davis. Was it just members from those groups or actually the groups? That sounds like an incredible and amazing tour!

RA: Actually just members of those groups, which seems inevitable these days, but everyone’s been really enjoying it for real. Spencer Davis didn’t do it because he hasn’t been well, but instead we had Maggie Bell, who was great and is still singing beautifully. And a guy named Dave Berry, who had some big hits in the UK, though maybe not over here. He had a hit called “The Crying Game” which was beautiful.

DPM: Yeah, yeah, yeah … from the movie.

RA: Remember that? Yeah, yeah. Oh, good, you saw it. He was on the show and it was a lovely show. Great guys, really nice people. The Yardbirds actually had their original guitarist “Top” Topham from right at the beginning of the band with Jim McCarty and they were really great. All the bands were. It was a sold out tour, we were playing some beautiful halls. It was great.

DPM: I personally would love it if you would do one of those tours in the states, for crying out loud!

RA: Yeah, that would be good too. [laughing]

DPM: I’d buy a ticket to that. I was a big fan of all the British groups from the 60’s, but I think I told you that when we talked before.

RA: I think you did, and thank you for that.

DPM: And so now, you’re just off the boat! [laughing}

RA: {laughing] Just off the boat and THAT was great! Obviously we saw the Moody’s because we did the cruise last year as well and the Moody’s were obviously on the bill because it’s their cruise, but this time we had Roger Daltry. I saw his set which was brilliant, doing all the old Who stuff … really, really terrific to see that. I didn’t get to see all the bands because there’s always so much to do all the time and we had shows to do ourselves. But I saw, for the first time, a guy called Randy Hanson, who plays all the Jimi Hendrix catalog and Jim, our bass player, knew him from when he backed up the Kinks years ago. But Randy’s been authorized by the Jimi Hendrix estate to play Jimi’s material. He’s so bloody good. And it was great to see him. Being out there on a beautiful summers day listening to the wonderful Jimi Hendrix stuff was amazing. He’s toured with Mitch Mitchell and Noel Redding of the original Experience.

DPM: I saw them in 1966 when they opened for the Monkees.

RA: You did? Well, there you go! Then you know exactly what I’m talking about. I loved Hanson’s take on Jimi Hendrix, so that was pretty great.

DPM: I know you’re busy and it’s your day off, so anything we’ve missed that’s important?

RA: It’s a pleasure to talk to you again, Deborah. We’re really looking forward to this show. I’ll say the same as I probably said last time, but we have a band that’s the reason that Colin and I are out here. It’s such a kicking band and there’s so much energy on stage. Probably the best band I’ve ever played with, I think. If anyone’s thinking of coming and haven’t seen us, do come along and check us out, because it’s really a great show and a great band.

DPM: I can attest to that. Rod, thank you so much for your time and I look forward seeing you guys soon!
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BritishGuitarBI Shuffle (British Invasion Shuffle)
Well Respected Man – The Kinks
Heart Full of Soul – The Yardbirds
House of the Rising Sun – The Animals
Gimme Some Lovin’ – Spencer Davis Group
This Will Be Our Year – The Zombies