‘Splainin’ + if it’s the beaches + o Canada + music to ….

I know, I know … I got some ‘splaining to do.  It’s been a month.  Coming up in the next few days is a full blown rave on dinner at Catch in Wilmington. Chef Keith Rhodes (Top Chef Texas contestant) & his wife Angela blew me away.

Driving from here to there, or there to here gives you time to think.  My head was in a different direction while my car was busy on highway 87 south.  It went something like this …

Have you seen me except in light blue suede?

What the hell ever happened to that pair of baby blue Frye Boots I used to have?  I saved a long time to buy those boots. When and where was the last time I saw them?  You’d think I’d remember if I left them somewhere and had to walk home barefooted.  Would I have given them away? Sold them?  Not likely.  Or maybe someone stole them.  But I’d remember that, right? Or maybe not.  It was, after all, sometime pre-80’s. I wore them to that Fleetwood Mac/Livingston Taylor  show in Little Rock.  Wasn’t that was the last concert I saw Sweet Connie of Little Rock, the ultimate rock groupie?

Boots. I was talking about boots.  I got to imagining a parallel world where all my missing stuff  – Frye boots … green cut-glass necklace from Chelsea … Flash, a dog I had in Atlanta … a Fender Rhodes …  still lives, all accounted for and still perfectly good. It’s right next to to that world where all the dryer socks go.  They can practically wave at one another across that universe.   Maybe Jack Daniels, or the major beer companies, should start putting “Have You Seen My _________ (insert name of item here)? for missing possessions on each bottle to help people locate their lost stuff? Now there’s a public service that would get some attention.

I won’t numb you with every detail about the last month … just the highlights.
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March 19

Crook’s Corner impromptu 30th birthday celebration!  Congrats, y’all!  I didn’t take any photos, I was too busy enjoying myself with the likes of Moreton Neal, Marcie Cohen Ferris, Bill Ferris, Claire Cusick, Whitney Brown, Nancie McDermott, Dan Shannon, and countless others.

Put a pig on it!  And Matt Neal, son of original Crook’s owner Bill Neal, did just that.

Bill Smith and Gene Hamer joined me to record an upcoming edition of SideDish this week.  Stay tuned for it to air Sat. May 12 & Sun. May 13 on 1360WCHL.
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Sunset Beach, NC

March 21 – Sunset Beach, NC
You won’t often find me turning down an invite to the beach.  Sunset is just one of my favorite places in the entire world. I can get downright lazy in a hurry not long after I unpack my car and hug up on my cousins. I drive the back roads taking neighborly pleasure in swooping down two lane roads waving at strangers, seeing farms, fields and towns so small they don’t even have a stoplight.  I’ve been making this same trip for nearly 5 years and now anticipate my own designated landmarks along the way …  the Church of Praise just the other side of Fayetteville down 87 where I tried to wait it out once in a torrential rainstorm. (When I pointed it out to my sister, she thought it read Church of Pause, so that’s what I see now every time I pass).  The roadside picnic table on 701 heading into Whiteville. And then there’s the intersection in Clarkton that’s my cue to put Jimmy Buffett on for the last 45 minutes to ease into beach mode.
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March 27, Il Palio @ The Siena Hotel
Wine and whine with Wendy Sease and Susan Reda, new Director of PR and Special Events for Il Palio … actually, we did whine for a few minutes, Susan and I with a Gruner Veltliner and Wendy with a sparkling Rose.  About halfway into a glass, we drew the line at whining and dove eagerly into the cheese plate expertly arranged with Looking Glass Creamery Ellington, Chapel hill Creamery Carolina moon, and Chapel Hill Creamery Calvander with fresh honey comb, membrillo (quince paste), and pear mustarda along with housemade crackers.

Adam Rose and Isaiah Allen are masters with a an empty plate.  I’d marry either one of them in a New York second except for one tiny little thing.  They haven’t actually asked.  That, and they’re both already married.  *sigh*
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O Canada
Dear those of you who can’t live without me,

I will NOT be packing my bags to move to Canada.

I’m only including one paragraph of their rejection letter.  But let me just say this … I’ve applied for over 28 jobs at Duke and have yet to hear anything. Thanks. No thanks. Kiss my ***. Go away. Nothing.   One application to a Canadian corporation and I get a response within 3 weeks.  I’m not giving up on Cirque though.  They need caterers on those tours.

Bonjour Deborah,  (Bonjour, Deborah … don’t you just love the sound of that?)
We have received your application for the position of Publicist, Michael Jackson THE IMMORTAL World Tour. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that you have not been selected for this position.
Best regards,
Cirque du Soleil
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So the job search goes on and on and on.  I’m over-qualified. I’m under-qualified. I might get bored. I might not.

I sent this out today as a cover letter.  What am I becoming?

Dear Company,
I’m absolutely, positively and completely out of my mind for even sending this. After all, my lifetime of public relations experience includes damn near everything BUT working in an advertising agency.  I came close one time though.  When working for IFusion in NYC, our offices were in the former BBDO space on 5th Ave so it stands to reason that I just naturally absorbed creative advertising energy by osmosis.  They left behind a state-of-the-art gourmet kitchen, where as High Priestess of Corporate Culture, I served up culinary genius in hopes of feeding the imagination while brainstorming in a room made out of white board walls.

Heck, I don’t even know who you people are … but …  I have a wicked (sometimes irreverent) sense of humor, am 80% right/20% left brained, keep a Gene Simmons action figure somewhere on my desk along with a Magic 8 Ball in case I don’t have a good answer at the time and because I once met the son of the inventor.

Thanks for listening!
Deborah

Now that you’ve read my response I am including the Craigslist ad just so you can see why I went where I went with the cover letter:

Do not respond to this Mid-Level Public Relations Position (Triangle)


Date: 2012-03-14, 12:26PM EDT
Reply to: pg86g-2901788756@job.craigslist.org


(just FYI, this is a real company, with a real job. This morning in Raleigh, it’s actually warm – spring is here, and I-40 didn’t have any real slowdowns). If you’re a talented PR Person, you shouldn’t be reading this ad. After all, if you’re any good, you probably have a cushy job at a cushy place, running your brain on auto-pilot every day, for if you actually used more than 15% of your brain, you would completely befuddle those around you. If you’re that kind of PR Person, and we hear about you, we’ll more than likely offer you a job. And after that, your days of faking it will come to and end. And on some days, you might actually break into a minor sweat, because we might not like your first plan. Or your second. Or third. You might even be a part of some several ground-breaking campaigns, fueled by your brilliant strategy, that gets so much National attention, your Facebook friends will get jealous of you. Which will cause other problems. If your style of PR is sending a carefully-crafted press release out everywhere, we don’t want you. However, if you’re into coming up with guerrilla ideas that gets our client on the 11:00 news, or get a million hits on YouTube, we’re interested.So, you’re probably best off not responding to this ad, for it might turn your life completely upside-down. Which is what we do best – there are many employees here whose lives haven’t been the same since they walked in the front door years ago.Regardless, hopefully we won’t hear from you.PS: If you’re completely out of your mind, and do respond to this ad, we’d like you to have up to 3 years experience doing PR for an advertising agency. No whiners.
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Music on shuffle while job hunting:
Je Suis Desole (Mark Knopfler)
Against the Wind (Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band)
Boom Boom Pow (The Black Eyed Peas)
Keep the Car Running (Arcade Fire)
Come See About Me (Tedeschi Trucks Band)
Somebody That I Used to Know (Gotye)
I Dug Up a Diamond (Emmy Lou/Mark Knopfler)
Life For Rent (Dido)
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4 responses to “‘Splainin’ + if it’s the beaches + o Canada + music to ….

  1. the dude in the honeywagon

    After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that you have not been selected for this position.

    someday they will

  2. Perhaps you might consider a future in doll house design/construction.

  3. Now why didn’t I think of that, Willie P? Maybe I should just repo the ones I already did? xoxo

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